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Our homeschool package arrived on Friday! I have already become CPR certified in the last 48 hours! I’m glad everything is going well, I feel like I’m running. Oh and I started our history book which is what I was most looking forward to doing. I will share more about this later.
I’ve been asked a lot of questions since we opened and started sharing about our adoption plans. So I wanted to reach out and answer more questions because parenting is very difficult and there are a lot of misconceptions about it. So hopefully this will help people understand some aspects of parenting, and some of our thoughts on the matter.
What is the adoption process?
The first stage is a home study, which is conducted by a social worker and consists of a lot of writing and documentation, academic studies, and three interviews (one of which takes place at our home). The home study is done as soon as we complete all the requirements, but most people say it takes about three months to complete. Once we are approved and registered with the organizations, our catalog will be shown to expectant mothers and we are just waiting for someone to take us.
How long will it take to deliver?
This depends on many factors so it is impossible to answer. Most organizations say it takes 1-2 years. We will be using Christian Adoption counselors. They act as middle men and connect us with several organizations, attorneys and events across the country. We hope this will help make the process easier and faster. They say that most couples get married within a year.
Why is it so expensive to adopt?
I plan to dedicate an entire post to this soon, but the short answer is this. I’ve heard of people spending as little as $8,000 and as much as $50,000, about $25,000-$35,000. Crazy, right? I think I’ve finally wrapped my head around why, though I’m still puzzled by it. It seems like the biggest things are agency and lawyer fees (mainly advertising and finding a surrogate mother). Surrogacy fees can vary greatly. It is illegal to pay someone for their child, but in some countries it is legal and they are expected to pay for the costs of the birth mother such as rent, food, medicine and so on. We will be raising funds over the next few months to help with expenses. With Wes still in medical school there is no way we can do this on our own.
(Someone asked me why domestic adoption is cheaper than other countries, and I don’t think it’s cheap. I haven’t looked into international data but domestic can be very expensive. The travel and time required in the country is probably a big factor though).
Do we know gender or race?
Wes and I both want to be open and not put too many restrictions on a child that will bless our family. Although we know that raising a child of another race can cause many problems, we are very happy to have a diverse family.
Will our adoption be open or closed to the birth family?
We are open to any type of relationship that the birth parent or parents wish to have. Open adoption, where there is open communication between the child and the birth parents, is strongly recommended. It is very good for the child, especially knowing what they are. It also seems healthy for a birth mother which I can understand. Adopting locked children without contact or information is not uncommon now.
What is our biggest fear going into this?
Our biggest fear is facing failure. It seems to be very common for this to happen. It is possible that we can show up at the hospital, fall in love with the child, and then find out that the parent(s) have changed their mind and want to raise themselves. And of course they have the right to do that. But in order to love we must open ourselves to heartbreak.
What is our greatest hope?
Our greatest hope is to find an amazing expectant mother that we can invite into our family to love our baby and us. And obviously we hope that the whole process goes smoothly and quickly.
Thanks for visiting us!! I hope you all had a great weekend!