Little baby – Emma Pickett IBCLC

If you spend 10 minutes in a sports club where breastfeeding older children is the norm, you will come across the topic of small games.

Young children like to play often: a small piece of plastic in their hands, a toy car, your car keys, your glasses. This is how they navigate their world, develop their motor skills, calm themselves and settle down.

And when they breastfeed, the other nipple often looks like another fun button. Some stroke, some twist, some pull, some rub between finger and thumb, some rock to sleep. And the owner of the breasts often suffers. If it doesn’t bother you, you can ignore this discussion. But most of the time we are worried.

If your little one likes to poke you in the eye while nursing, how often would you allow it?

I think maybe once or twice.

Imagine if all he liked was playing with your eyebrows? Imagine sticky fingers and toenails. This will be done for half a day MAX. We would say things like, “I don’t like that. That hurts my eyes. That makes me uncomfortable. Please don’t touch my eye.”

In many cases, I have seen breastfeeding twiddling tolerated even when it bothers someone else.

I think because it’s nipples, somehow we feel like it’s part of breastfeeding. We can read about how nursing refreshes and think, ‘it’s so natural that I’m settled’. Or because you find it comforting and refreshing, you feel you have to put up with it. Yes, it often creeps up on you. Sometimes literally (with a hand suddenly throwing your t-shirt) but I mean it figuratively. It starts when they are small when it doesn’t bother you much and gradually it becomes a habit without remembering to admit it.

And consent is the key word here. I say this a lot when I talk about breastfeeding older children, this is their first intimate relationship. This is an example of how relationships can go in their life and it is more than milk production and more than their comfort. You are teaching them little by little, that you are human too. Child-led weaning is not a case where compassion has been removed. Natural breastfeeding doesn’t mean teaching your baby that your feelings don’t matter. What a waste of an important life lesson.

When breastfeeding starts, they don’t realize that you are a different person. And most of the time, we don’t feel like a different person. But as the months and years go by, it changes and must change. Sometimes we need to do other things. Sometimes we need to take care of someone else. Sometimes we need to take care of ourselves. There are times when we don’t feel like breastfeeding.

We often think that the words used in connection with natural breastfeeding, “Don’t Give, Don’t Deny” mean that ‘refusal’ is a betrayal of breastfeeding. But the rejection (or call it ‘discussion’ instead) is a valuable opportunity to teach that people in this world become better people when they care about others.

An 18-month-old, or a three-year-old, will suffer from true compassion. They are often selfish in a good and surprising way. But how does the episode end? Not by bringing magic from the fairies at about 5 or 6 or 8 or 9 years old. It happens slowly. Even newborn babies see a person’s face in trouble. Day by day, piece by piece, the brain changes little by little and discovers that others can hear it too.

Breastfeeding is an excellent tool for teaching skills that are at the heart of being human. When you say, “I don’t like it when you hug my other breast,” you are helping to create a relationship with someone many years from now.

Here are some helpful tips that can help:

• You can put a canvas or something in your clothes and encourage playing with it as an alternative.

• Give a silicone breast.

• Keep their hand in one place with a gentle and repetitive voice and be consistent.

• Let them say hello and then give them a choice about where the play will go: Do ​​you want my drawing or your nose? Do you want a red flannel or shirt button?

Motherhood and parenting feel like a place of commitment. We always hear the message that our thoughts come second (or out of line). If we decide to continue breastfeeding, sometimes we feel like we’ve signed some kind of contract to pretend everything is okay. We should not want to ban it. We are giving God natural breastfeeding if we do.

This is not true. If nipple vibration isn’t to your liking, get rid of it today. Theoretically, this means more oxytocin and more milk production and better breastfeeding for all. It also means your mental health and ability to see breastfeeding as a positive experience is enhanced. It can increase your baby’s chances of feeding for many days, weeks or months because you will be happy to continue.

If your toddler looks you in the eye, you say ‘no thanks’. He may object. They can cross. You can still say, ‘no thanks’. If they want to play, there are endless other options that allow you to use your other nipple. A toddler’s runaways are not something you should put up with because your feelings are not the most important thing.

Natural breastfeeding is more than anti-bodies, protein, Vitamin A or comfort. It’s a world where you have a quick way to create a little person filled with compassion and kindness. Use that opportunity.