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Key points
- When you are pregnant, plan how you will take care of guests after your baby is born.
- Choose what is right for you, your partner and your child when it comes to visitors.
- Gently tell people what days and times they should visit you.
- If people want to help you, explain what you want and need.
Hello baby!
One of the most exciting things in life is bringing a new baby into our family and social network. Many people love to share the joy of meeting a very young child and want to be a part of the show. It can help to even have an idea and a plan for how to handle visitors in a friendly and efficient manner.
Remember, most adults are reasonable and if necessary, will respond respectfully to the appropriate time to visit and leave.
Strangers
Some new parents find the idea of visitors a welcome distraction from their day. Some find this point too onerous. No matter where you are at the fun and social event, you could be forgiven for being a little too social when you’re with your baby.
1. Hang out with your partner during your pregnancy
Clear communication about how to handle visitors can save you a lot of trouble later on. It makes sense for your partner to talk to other people so that you and your child can get to know each other for the first time.
Physical and emotional recovery after birth can take several weeks and if you have had a long labor and birth, possibly even longer. There is no better time to welcome guests.
Don’t assume that your partner has the same expectations of visitors as you. If they are used to having a very social family and you are conservative, what you consider normal may be very different.
If you’re worried about being busy with strangers when your baby is born, consider not telling people your exact date. Another option is to share the date that is close to your actual date.
Look at maternity clinics for your period pregnancy and let your friends and family know this before you have your child. If you don’t want people to come over, tell them when you’re pregnant.
2. Talk to your nearest and dearest before your baby is born
Have an honest conversation about what you want to happen in terms of communication. There is no ‘one size fits all’ approach to newborn babies. This is the one time in your life when you are allowed to be a little selfish. Be clear and specific so there is no confusion about what you mean.
If you don’t like medical visitors, tell people. And ask the staff to post a sign on your door advising people that you are taking a break. Tell your friends and family that you are very excited to meet the new baby and that you or your partner will be in touch soon to arrange a date and time to visit.
3. Ask a friend to supervise the guests
Talk openly with your partner about the possibility of them needing to be a doorkeeper for guests. Ask them to check on you first to see if you’re not sleeping or if you just need some family time. It’s also a good idea to choose the people you want to hang out with. Slow, quick trips to say hello are easier to manage than trips that last several hours.
4. Send a text indicating the days and times that people will be received
Send group notes and let people know that it may be a while before you get back to them because you’re a little busy. If you have the time and inclination, send updates and photos of how you and your child are doing.
It would be easier for you to have group trips, instead of just hanging out with people. Ask your friends and family if they can coordinate a date and time that works for both of you.
5. Put you and your child first
If you are a social person, you may find it difficult to put yourself first. But being a parent requires developing new skills – putting your own needs and your child’s first is one of many.
Saying no to people can be difficult the first few times you do it. But because you have to make sure that you and your child come first; you will be encouraged to make better decisions.
It can take six weeks or more to recover from labor and delivery. It is important at this time to relax and focus on getting to know your child better. Building confidence and skills is breastfeedingadjusting, settling in and knowing what your child is supposed to do takes hours. This is best done in the comfort of your home and where you can completely relax.
6. Try to ask difficult questions
Let people come to you if possible. However, if you know people who may be late, it might be a good idea to go to them. Plan tours when you can. When making plans, let your hosts know how long you will be staying.
7. Ask people not to leave if they are sick
It is reasonable to ask that only healthy people go there. You must be your child’s advocate and ensure that their health is not compromised. Your child immune system they are growing and will be vulnerable until they mature.
Ask people not to visit if:
- They are sick.
- He has cold sores.
- They have never been vaccinated covid disease and Whooping cough.
- They are not allowed to wear a mask when they are around you and your child.
- They are not ready to wash their hands before handling your child.
8. Be flexible and ready to change your plans
You may plan to isolate yourself after your baby is born, but you may find yourself wanting to socialize. Also, you may think that you will see people and for various reasons, you tend to keep arguing with your child.
The first days and weeks after giving birth are precious. Be patient and kind to yourself as you find your way through the new baby fumes.
9. Remember, you don’t have to please people
Don’t think you need to cater for guests by preparing food and drinks. Wait until they offer and say yes to whatever treatment is right for you. When people ask how they can help, offer suggestions. Washing the dishes, preparing meals, taking care of older children, the list is endless.
10. Share your time with strangers
Put yourself and your child first every day. There will be times when you don’t want to see anyone and you’re just in your pajamas eating cereal on the couch. Nothing!
Be kind to yourself and others as you take days or even weeks to settle down and learn what it takes to manage your little family. After the birth, the special, early period passes quickly so that you can get the most out of it.
About the Author:
Posted in Nourish Baby by Jane Barry. Jane is fully qualified in paediatrics, immunisation, midwifery and pediatric nursing. She holds a Bachelor’s Degree in Applied Science (Nursing) and has approximately 35 years of pediatric health nursing experience. She is a member of a number of professional associations including AHPRA, The Australasian Medical Writer’s Association and the Australian College of Children and Young People’s Nurses.
References
About Feeding Baby | Pregnancy Education & Parenting Education Online
Australian Government Department of Health and Aging
Foreign visitors and foreigners by birth – COPE
Establishing rules for visitors when you have a baby – ABC Everyday