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My brother-in-law got me Bluetooth headphones for Christmas this year, and I absolutely love them.
That is to say, I would love them… if they worked.
It’s not like they have a real disability or anything. They work well for a little while at a time, but they secretly conspire… waiting for that moment when I’m about to run up the hill, because the motivation of me is that I really like the running song to come, and then… nothing. There is no explanation, nothing to show what has just happened, just dead air.
And the funny thing is, I don’t care if it doesn’t work. It says that they work for a while, then they stop when I go in. That is the true definition of disappointment.
If you look back at the title of this blog, I’m sure you know where I’m going with this illustration.
The only thing worse than your child’s complete refusal to sleep is when he pulls the old, “I’m going to bed now Mom! Go ahead and do the million things you have to do today.”
But as soon as you start doing whatever important thing you want to do, suddenly they have other ideas. Which is very annoying! I mean, you may or may not sleep, but don’t do it as you please, make me do what you want, and then decide after 20 minutes!
Wow! Maybe a little residual hostility is brewing back there somewhere. Who knew?
But honestly, it makes it even more frustrating. You feel like they’re saying, “Yeah, I was really tired, but I saw that you were doing something really important and, you know, I just jumped in.”
Yes, the truth is, your child does not want to interfere with your productivity. (Or, scientists haven’t been able to prove yet.) There are a whole bunch of reasons why your baby might wake up after 20 minutes of sleep, but here are three of the most common.
He doesn’t wake up in a place where he feels like he’s sleeping.
This is the magic trick for 20 minutes of sleep. In fact, it is a game changer in the category of infant sleep disorders.
Your baby has learned to fall asleep on his own, but maybe he’s in your arms, in a car seat, or in his stroller… somewhere other than his bed.
When he wakes up, he’s in a familiar place, but it’s a place he associates with waking up, not sleeping. So he does what he thinks is right; start crying until the mother enters.
Trust me on this one. Put your baby down to sleep in his bed. Once he begins to associate the same place with the entire journey from waking up to sleeping, he will have an easier time doing it on his own after waking up a little 20 minutes into his sleep.
He fell asleep with a prop in his mouth.
Something in baby’s mouth, such as a bottle, breast, or pacifier will often help baby fall asleep, and we love it when baby falls asleep!
But when a child falls asleep while sucking on something, they start to associate that thing with sleep. So when they have a brief experience in their sleep, (which usually happens somewhere between 20 and 40 minutes) they don’t know how to sleep, because that “something” is no longer in their mouth.
They often start to cry a lot at this point because they are still tired, and the support is gone. So even though it makes falling asleep faster in the beginning, it’s very difficult after 20 minutes. And once the baby wakes up, and has been sitting down for a little while, getting him to go back to sleep is probably not going to happen.
He was very tired after sleeping
Sleep isn’t always ideal. We like to think that, the more we need, the more we get, right? This is true for adults. If you need to make up for the sleep debt, your body and brain will shut down for a long time, allowing you to “catch up” on the sleep you missed.
However, children have not developed this ability. When they’re too tired, their bodies try to kick back the habit, pull random levers and switches, and release all the hormones indiscriminately. (That’s clinical time for that anyway.)
As a result, the child’s sleep is disturbed, and when he wakes up, he is angry and irritable, which makes him unable to sleep.
Bedtime, people. I cannot recommend them enough. As soon as the child enters the path, the problem is solved.
These are the most common causes I encounter, but honorable mentions go to itchy beds, overheated bedrooms, high-end phones, and heavy furniture.
Also, if anyone wants new Bluetooth headphones, they sit in the trash can outside my garage door. Please help yourself.
If your baby, toddler or child is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped more than 57,00 parents to get their children to sleep 11-12 hours overnight AND taking long naps, relaxing during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I look forward to helping you!