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I have been taking time to write this because I have been looking at all the ideas and keeping them close to my heart. If you missed the story where we were compared to a pregnant woman with a baby boy click here.
We found out about “K” choosing us to be the parents of his son on September 13 and the agency worker said that K was eager to meet with us. We were able to fly out to see him three weeks later on October 3. We were surprised that K made a doctor’s appointment for us to go with him. We were very happy. We met for lunch and it was a wonderful time getting to know each other. We all cried a little and talked about how amazing this all was and what it was like. K was amazing. The flood of love we both felt for him at the same time was unexpected and profound. We told him how much we wanted to be friends with him and how we hoped we would be friends and stay friends even after the baby came. We wanted her to know that we love her and not just have a baby. I was so scared to feel like we were “sharing” someone’s child, but when we got to know him it was like… how could it be any other way? We WANT them to be with us. We WANT her to know that she can always be with him and love her as much as she wants. He already loved this child very much and it was obvious that he loved him very much. We feel that he is so honored that he would want us to be his parents and our hearts are filled with nothing but gratitude and love for him. After all, it is because of him that we will be parents. At the doctor’s appointment we were very happy to find out that an ultrasound was scheduled for us and we would be there. I’ve never seen an ultrasound done on a baby before (only my ovaries lol) so it made perfect sense! We saw and heard a heartbeat and knew it was indeed a boy! It all went very quickly and we didn’t have a “moment” like I expected, but it was still amazing. We have pictures that are hard to read but we don’t care even if we don’t know what the pictures are. We love them. We love this baby. We love these ladies. We are overflowing with love.
So now we’re just waiting and trying to build our relationship with K while we wait. She is 29 weeks pregnant now so we still have a few weeks to go. This wait has been more difficult than I expected. When we’re busy, time flies, but on days when we’re not out doing things, I can feel the anxiety and fear creeping in. We fully understand that he can change his mind and raise the child alone and he has the right to do so. But as time goes on I feel the love and affection of this child is growing more than I expected. I CANNOT imagine how much my heart will hurt if this happens. I know God has a hand in this and I’m trying to trust him more than ever.
So right now we are planning!! Two of my best friends threw us the most amazing rain last week. It was truly a dream to have a baby shower. About me! How is this possible? I still can’t believe that I, Charlotte, will be a mother! We are so grateful for everyone who came to celebrate with us and for all that we have achieved. I think we are ready to have a baby now! Please continue to pray for us and K and the baby boy. Specifically, pray that we may have peace and remain full of faith and love. To K that she continues to have a healthy pregnancy with as few complications as possible and that she continues to feel overflowing with peace and love. And to the son that he continues to grow strong and healthy.