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As your child grows, they learn many new things and become curious about the world around them. Before you know it, they’re crawling, walking, talking, and giving you their thoughts on what they think, feel, like, and dislike. It can be fun and exciting to see them develop their independence and individuality. However, there may be times when they become very attached to you or your partner – unwilling to do anything without your help or presence. So what can you do? How can you encourage your child to learn to stand up for themselves in a healthy and positive way?
Opportunities for independence are critical to building a sense of self-worth and self-esteem – as well as dealing with depression, working on skills, and developing tolerance and resilience! So here are a few tips to help you give your child that chance.
1. Give them a Habit
Having your child participate in all kinds of activities is a great way for them to become independent. It can be as simple a routine as getting up in the morning and making their bed, putting away their breakfast plate, brushing their teeth, or zipping up their jackets.
Little things like these are great for your child to do on their own; they will like to do it because they will feel responsible and senior.
Having a well-defined routine gives your child independence and an understanding of what to expect, leading to less tantrums and surprises.
Reassure them that you know they can do it and that if they need help you will be there. Don’t forget to give them a round of applause when they’re organized—it helps show them that they’re doing a good job, that you’re proud of them, and that doing things on your own is fun.
2. Give Your Child Choices
You can include your child in what they want to wear, what they want to play, what they want to eat, or even activities/hobbies they want to do. Instead of making her feel like you have 100% control over everything in their lives, loosen the reins a little (within limits) and let her decide. Let them know that their voice and opinion is important.
As shared on Parent.com,”Giving children enough freedom and allowing them to make their own decisions is a great way to support them, build confidence in their decision-making skills, and help them take responsibility. ”
Also, be careful not to give them away too too many choices because it can confuse them; instead give them multiple choices such as, “Would you rather go to the zoo or the water?”
3. Let Your Child Help You
Speaking from my own experience, I know that it is important to call and let your child help you. It can be anything from helping to sweep the floor, cracking an egg, or mixing a bowl of cake batter. As long as it is safe, you can let them help with even the smallest tasks.
Children often look for ways to help them in what you are doing, because they not only see it as a way to help, but also want you to have your time and attention. My children love to help me cook, do the dishes, plant in our garden, and many other things.
When you let your child help you, you build confidence in them and give them the opportunity to learn new things. Children also love to show off their contributions to others and enjoy the time you allow them to help.
4. Give Your Child Chores
It depends on your child ageyou can start naming and encouraging your child to do chores. It can be anything from picking up the trash bag to replace the trash, feeding the family pet, cleaning, dusting, setting the table, putting their toys away in their room, or pushing the button on the washing machine to start the laundry (my little ones loved this one)!
So how does this help create independence? Because you are giving them a sense of responsibility and motivation as they begin to see how their hard work is appreciated and how it supports the whole family!
5. Let Your Child Solve Problems and Make Mistakes
First, let me just say that this one may be hard to swallow. Don’t get me wrong – we all want our child to think for themselves, but it takes patience on the part of us parents. We naturally want to do things for them, because we are parents, right? We just think we can do the job faster. But over-controlling them and doing everything for them (from a young age onwards) will not help them grow and learn.
We must allow them to solve problems on their own, such as learning a shoe that goes on the foot, or when they are learning to walk, give them a safe place to fall. These and other examples allow your child to think critically about what to do, what to do when things don’t go well, and what to do next.
6. Increase Production Time
Get rid of crayons, markers, or other tactile objects that can make your child’s art more interesting. Children are naturally born with a desire to be creative, and when they are playing with objects or doing something creative, they put their minds to it and use their imagination to create themselves.
Show them that you are proud of their work. Give them encouragement and guidance if they need help, and have faith that they can do things on their own. Let them play with shapes, meat, vegetables, dressing, spoons or pans, and more! Children really learn a lot by playing and creating.
Other Ways to Strengthen Self-Control:
- Set up an independent site: You may have already seen this is a Montessori program that has a great impact on the child in terms of learning. Maybe get mugs, plates, or hooks to hang their bag on. Think about ways you can increase the opportunities for your child to be independent.
- Allow them to be tired: This helps them develop organizational skills, problem-solving skills, flexibility, and creativity.
- Let them prepare the menu and help buy the food
- Give them a chance
- Tell them to volunteer
Follow this link for MORE ideas!
Fostering independence in your child can be both a gift and a challenge. It will take time, effort, and confidence to guide your child toward independence, and that’s okay!
Ask yourself if your child can do this on his own, and if he can and it’s safe, then let him! When you speak softly to them, they become more confident and confident. The rewards are priceless! It’s so amazing to see your kids figuring things out and growing into independent little people. Tell us some ways you have helped your child learn to be independent.
