We hear the term “cry-it-out” a lot when it comes to sleep training, and it doesn’t always mean the best. Many new parents think it involves putting their newborn in the crib, closing the door, and leaving their newborn until 7:00 rolls around. For anyone who has this feeling, I can happily tell you that it is not.
I personally don’t use the traditional way of crying in The Sleep Sense Program, but I feel like the words themselves need a little explanation so that everyone has the information they need to decide for themselves if this is the way they want to go.
– Hello, I’m Dana. Welcome to this week’s video.
I would say that one of the most popular questions on Google is what does crying mean?
Now, if you are a new parent, and I can remember back when I was kind of a new parent and I am facing these problems with my son, he is not sleeping much at the time, and I just kind of lose a little feelers to my friends and family about it, if he is not sleeping much. He is five months old now and we wake up several times a night.
And once in a while I get the answer, “Oh, just let him cry it out loud.” And I heard this from this friend and mother-in-law and this even a doctor or a nurse, this idea of letting a child cry. And when you hear it and you’re a new parent and you hear that sentence, it’s a wonderful thing, right? You think, just let her cry? Should I just leave her in her room to cry? Why does this solve the problem? Why this answer?
I mean, there are a lot of questions that come up when you think about making your baby cry. So, I’m glad you’re here, because I’m going to tell you what this means and why people say it.
Therefore, when babies do not sleep well, it is because they depend on external things. For example, breastfeeding to sleep, bottle feeding to sleep, rocking to sleep. Those little outside helpers are what your child now believes they need to fall asleep and go back to sleep in the middle of the night. I need all the things that help me sleep first.
I mean, we all have sleep cycles that we’re very protective of. So once your child is confident, they’ll wake up once, five, ten times a night, who knows, and they’ll need help getting back to sleep. And that’s what makes it difficult and frustrating as a parent. Months, even years later, this is still happening.
So the only way, and I’m just telling the truth, people. I am honest. The only way to get your child to sleep well is to teach him how to do it without this outside help. So they have to say goodbye to something and find a new way, a better way, and that’s hard, right?
Think about all the times you’ve tried to change your life, to break a bad habit. It’s not easy. We don’t just jump into this with open arms and embrace change. We don’t just do that.
So there is no way to convince a baby or a toddler or even a child that they don’t need those things anymore and it will be easier if they just ask me to do it that way. Well, that makes sense, right? Making changes to any sleeper’s habits will be met with some kind of resistance. So the fact that a child can do this happily without feeling sad, is absurd, isn’t it? No, it doesn’t. They don’t know how to do this yet, so it’s going to be a little anxiety-provoking.
Now, this is where the crying part comes in, because usually the expression of change is crying. I don’t know how to do this without help. This is not good for me. I cry. Now, when people usually get stuck on this. They usually get that part, don’t they? You can get to where I’m coming from. But then the problem is what do you do with the child who is crying right now? Until they figure this out, what are you doing?
Now, I want to tell you that The Sleep Sense Program offers a way that you don’t have to go anywhere, and this is a sticking point for many parents, I don’t want to leave her crying. It doesn’t feel right to me. And I understand. I absolutely understand that.
So you can be there, and you can be happy with the support system and you can be on the side and kind of help him and cheer him up while he reads other new ways, but beyond that there is nothing else you can do, because it is about the development of skills. It’s about learning something. And we can’t learn it from him. He has to do that part himself.
So, that’s really, in my opinion, what crying means, is letting a baby cry for a few nights while they learn a new way to sleep. Crying has nothing to do with sleeping through the night. Well, nothing. It’s the result, really. It is a word that expresses unhappiness or uncertainty about how to do something. And when they find out, guess what? The crying stops.
The day will come when your child will sleep, I promise you, happily, and that will be a beautiful day.
Thank you very much for watching. Sleep well.
If your baby, toddler or child is having trouble sleeping through the night, help is just a click away! The Sleep Sense Program has helped more than 57,00 parents to get their children to sleep 11-12 hours overnight AND taking long naps, relaxing during the day. If you’re ready to get started today – I look forward to helping you!
Skip to content 