I am so excited to write and share the story of the birth and adoption of our new son. So long, sorry, but it was so good and I can’t leave more out! We have a son. A healthy and beautiful baby with a full head of shiny hair and gray/blue eyes. He’s fast asleep on me right now, wrapped in a baby blanket and pressed against my chest, making a nice little noise with every breath. My heart melts a little every time I hear his lungs rise with air. My nose is constantly pressed to her head so I can smell her and kiss her. I can’t believe I’m his mom and Wes is his dad. We are filled with so many emotions and so many fears.
We arrived in Florida on Monday at 9 in the afternoon and took the birthmom to dinner. {We are keeping the birth family private out of respect for them and Charlie’s legacy. It is information for him to like, not for everyone to know everything). I usually spend every Tuesday and Wednesday with the birthmom. We had a special time and bonded a lot. The love and respect I have for him is unspeakable. He is my hero. I only hope that one day I will be as selfless as he is.
| Hands of two mothers: Birthmom and me |
The few days before our son was born were unforgettable. The feelings we had were all over the place. Often happiness, extreme disbelief, anxiety and closure. Sleep was difficult. We were scared for the birthmom because we knew she was nervous. I wanted to get over him, I didn’t want him to go through any pain. Thursday the 12th was a big day. We met everyone at the hospital at 9am and registered and went to the pre-op/recovery room where they prepared. I joined him, but Wes sat waiting. His mother was also with him, and we sat on the bed and watched the baby kick his stomach. It was the first time I saw him and felt him kick. He pulled her to the monitor and we could hear her heart beating. I always fought back tears. Birthmom was doing great and was really ready. I knew he was nervous, but he was ready and very happy. I was surprised by his strength. The nurses came in and asked who would eat first after the birth, and the birthmom said she wanted me and Wes to do it. I started crying. I gave the nurse my phone to take pictures and she drove the birth mother to the session. I went out to the waiting room to be with Wes.
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| In the waiting room waiting for the baby to be born |
We got a text from the nurse that said “we’ll meet your baby”, followed by a picture of him 20 minutes later. I can’t explain how we felt. We went back to the treatment room as soon as we knew we were going to meet him there and give him his first bottle. As I walked down the hall I began to cry uncontrollably with hope. I remember all of this very clearly. His biological grandmother was holding him in the room smiling. I was crying so much that I couldn’t see. He handed me to me and I laid him in my arms and Wes was on my shoulder holding me. He was smiling nervously, and I was crying uncontrollably. I don’t know when I stopped crying, but we held her for a long time. I had to ask someone to wipe my eyes with a kleenex because I couldn’t see all the tears. I don’t know if it was the birth grandmother or the nurse who poured the water into my eyes but I was thankful that someone did.
Our son Charles “Charlie” Thomas Sorrill was born January 12th, 2017 at 12:24pm weighing 7lbs 1oz and 19-3/4″ long. Wes and I took turns holding him. Watching Wes hold him and smile with love and pride was better than I could have imagined. I had been waiting to hold my son for so long to see him. That’s when I hugged Wes and Charlie and I whispered “we are a family of three now”, Wes also started crying with my face between his chest and the baby and I heard his cry.
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| We are a family of three now |
We got to feed him which was so much fun! We didn’t know what we were doing and shooting him was difficult because we weren’t used to taking care of small newborns. We stayed with him in the room for several hours. Birthmom went back inside and was very tired from the surgery. Then we were transferred to the postpartum room where we all stayed together. I was afraid of what it would be like to be in the small room with the birthmom, trying to hold the baby and listen to him, but it was a special and beautiful moment. He said he really wanted us to enjoy our time with him and get used to feeding him and changing him, so we did, and he seemed to be doing great! He held her and we were all amazed at how beautiful she was. We saw the nurse give her the first bath and then we left the hospital around 10:30pm to sleep at the hotel. The birth mother took care of him all night which I think she loved being with him at that time.
We went back to the hospital the next morning and were amazed that the birthmom was up and walking and doing great! He said the doctor had already seen him and said he could be discharged that evening, and the pediatrician said the child was doing very well and could be discharged. And to my surprise, the worker said that he would bring the papers in a few hours. We spent a wonderful morning and afternoon together, then when my friends got there we went down to wait. We didn’t think he would change his mind, but it’s crazy how much fear grows at this point. When we saw the employee coming down from the elevator with a smile on his face, I cried again and felt an incredible sense of relief. This was bound to happen.
Birthmom left the hospital while we were signing papers to avoid a difficult goodbye. We knew that this was a very difficult time and we were very surprised by how brave and strong he was. After the papers were signed, I waited for Wes to go get the car seat and stood in the hospital lobby texting our baby’s announcement on the phone with tears streaming down my face. I just remembered going back to the room to get him and the nurses were congratulating us and I couldn’t stop crying. We tied him up and went out. Putting him in our car and driving off with him was a superficial feeling. It was a feeling of redemption like I couldn’t believe. The years of pain and tears over infertility and feeling like we’ll never have a child to call our own, the difficult parenting journey that got us here, are all over. All the pain was gone. This was so. He was ours and we were his parents. We love him so much. I still can’t believe it. God is very good. This was better than any pregnancy or birth or adoption story I could have dreamed up on my own.
Thank you all so much for being on this journey with us, for your prayers, support, donations, friendship…everything. I could not have survived without you all. Prayers were heard, and I mean I really felt them. So thank you all very much.