The threat to the stranger’s health helped prevent my son from having the same problem

Early in my pregnancy with my daughter Talia, I volunteered at a nursery school. One of the parents came to ask me if any of the children in their daughter Elya’s class had a cold. His caution surprised me at first – I thought exposure to germs wasn’t that bad. But then I learned that a few years back she had faced every parent’s problem: What she thought was a normal case of the sniffles caused her daughter to fall into a coma. The culprit: respiratory syncytial virus, also known as RSV.

When I met Elya, she was a healthy and thriving 4-year-old, but her mother’s fear was still there. Now she had another child at home, and the possibility of bringing this common, but deadly childhood disease into her family again weighed heavily on her.

I had heard of RSV before then, but without the connection, it wasn’t something I was worried about. When I saw the fear that Elya’s mother faced every day when she was sick, I knew that I had to do everything in my power to protect my son from the same disease.

I went straight to the doctor with my questions about RSV

I got pregnant with Talia four months after my miscarriage, and choosing to get pregnant after a miscarriage was not a decision I made lightly. It took planning, facing my fears, and a bit of thinking. But making the decision to protect his health was easy.

After hearing about Elya’s fear, I went online to learn more about RSV. I learned about Abrysvo, the maternal vaccine and Beyfortus, the baby shot, and called my midwife team to ask questions about my options.

Every aspect of my prenatal care was planned with a lot of thought and research. I chose to use the birth center and midwives, to understand the statistics of Black birth outcomes. I appreciated all the methods used by the midwives. They prepared me very well at every step of the journey. This included informing me about the safety and importance of the RSV vaccine for women. Pregnant women are eligible for the RSV vaccine if they are between 32 and 36 weeks pregnant during the high RSV season (the vaccine is now offered from September to March). At 32 weeks, I was eligible to receive the vaccine. I left with a sore arm and a sense of relief. It was one of my first attempts to protect him.

Getting my daughter’s RSV antibodies was no problem

The following fall, when my daughter was 6 months old, her pediatrician told me that she qualified for Beyfortus. Although I had already received the RSV vaccine and he was past the critical newborn window when a fever meant a trip to the emergency room, giving him this extra shot of protection was the smartest decision I’ve made as a parent. [Editor’s note: If you got Abrysvo during pregnancy, your baby may not be eligible for Beyfortus. Your pediatrician will make recommendations based on your baby’s health and family history.]

Prioritizing RSV prevention wasn’t just about protecting Talia. My husband is immunocompromised after his kidney transplant, so getting Talia anti RSV when he was going through his first RSV season was a way to protect him, when he couldn’t protect himself.

RSV is an insidious virus that has many different effects. It may look like a runny nose or a mild cold, but for vulnerable groups (young babies, the elderly, anyone with weakened immune systems), it can cause pneumonia or other respiratory infections that require hospitalization. Even if Talia caught RSV and was one of the lucky ones who didn’t mess up a bit with the loot, her dad would catch it and be hospitalized.

Looking back, this was the best decision for my family

When I was given the decision to give my son these antibodies, I didn’t just think about the numbers and the risk. I thought of Eyla’s mother. I decided to be “safe rather than sorry” and how a seemingly minor illness can quickly turn into a serious illness. And I thought about how lucky we are to have tools that can help our children to be less difficult.

My daughter is now 17 months old, and is generally healthy and happy. I don’t regret that I made the decisions that kept him that way, that also protected his Father. I see for myself that my choices can affect the people I love, the people our children meet, and the families we live with.